Military life is not all love letters and clean houses « Hard Corps Wife
Uniform chasers are the worst kind of girls. Military men are wonderful, but going after a guy just for the glamour of the uniform is low. yet that’s exactly what an article in Yahoo is encouraging women to do.
Conviction and courage wrapped in a crisp uniform with a patriotic ribbon on top? Yes, please. Dust off your patriotic heels and show our men in service just how much you appreciate their sacrifices.
Even though dating someone in the military can be incredibly challenging on many different levels, there are numerous reasons why a man in the service could be your ideal beau:
1. Conviction. Nothing says sexy more than someone who is putting his life on the line to protect your freedoms and rights. Joining the military is a choice; by serving his country, you know he has strong ideals and is willing to fight for them.
2. he is in great physical shape. Let’s not pretend that the fact he’s probably in the best shape of his life doesn’t turn you on. The rigorous training he is committed to is part of his daily routine, and you get to reap the benefits of his occupation’s strict physical and dietary habits. We’ll salute to that.
3. Potential for love letters. since your relationship will probably be long-distance at certain points and for long periods of time, communication becomes quintessential. This means lots of emails, chats, phone conversations, and snail mail. The possibility of epic literary confessions of love is immense.
4. Independence and co-dependence. since he is often in unfamiliar environments, you know that he can take care of himself. he is trained to survive hostile circumstances and protect his fellow soldiers, so he knows what it takes to work as a team. he knows how to work together for a common goal, but he can also assess a difficult situation and figure out a solution on his own. This can translate well for relationships. after all, love can be a battlefield too.
5. he takes directions well. The military is all about structure, order and rules. If he can survive taking commands from his superiors, you know that he won’t mind too much when you ask him to help you with the dishes every once in a while—or when you start ordering him around in the bedroom.
6. he can keep his room neat. Due to the discipline practiced in the barracks, you can count on him to pick up after himself and keep his personal affects in order. you can thank his drill sergeant for that one.
7. The uniform. It’s not just because the tailored cut of a uniform perfectly accentuates his physical assets. a uniform represents discipline, strength, courage, and fellowship—all traits that make for great partners. We are often attracted to men in uniform because of the message it sends to us: this is a person in a position of authority who can provide us with safety and whose job is to protect us from the dangers of the world.
How can we say no to that?
Let me just say that there are a lot of great things about being married to Matt. But it’s because I’m married to him, not being I’m married to just some arbitrary Marine. there are so many wonderful and awe-inspiring things about the people who serve in our military, but they aren’t reasons to date them.
And real military life? It is nothing like what this article talks about. I’ve never received a single love letter from Matt, not even while he was deployed. I asked some of my other friends, also married to Marines, and received similar snorts of indignation. Love letters are plenty romantic, but it’s probably you who will be sending them. there also isn’t a whole lot of reliable internet service, so web cams and e-mails aren’t happening all that often, either. and best physical shape of their lives? most Marines are in decent shape, but plenty of them aren’t, too — dating someone in the military does not ensure you get chiseled abs and a sculpted six-pack.
And while the independence/co-dependence part is somewhat true, they leave out the tendency of military men to come home and still talk to you like one of his soldiers or Marines. It took me about a month at the beginning of our relationship to, a.) realize that he wasn’t being mean, he was just talking to me like a Marine and, B.) to then break him of that habit. This is another thing that I’ve spoken to other wives about, who had noticed the same thing happen.
Taking directions? Keeping his room neat? This is a person-by-person issue. Matt is as stubborn as they come. he takes directions from his superiors, sure, but from me? Hell no. and Matt’s pretty tidy, sure, but I know plenty of Marines who aren’t.
Being in the military doesn’t guarantee you’re going to get this whirlwind romance, complete with Richard Gere straight out of An Officer and a Gentleman. The only thing that you really can attest to out of this article is the uniform… which is pretty damn sexy.
What bothers me about this article is that it leads to uniform chasers. these are the girls who fall in love with the idea of dating a soldier or a Marine or a sailor, the girls who saw Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnet in Pearl Harbor and thought they’d pick one up for themselves.
They’re the ones who swan around town wearing Marine Corps everything. you know, because when you walk around Camp Lejeune with a young-looking guy who’s got a fade, no one knows you’re a Marine Corps wife or anything. They’re the ones who won’t work, who live off of their husband’s paycheck, and yet are the quickest to whine about how hard their life is. these are also the same girls who crack under the pressure as soon as the first deployment rolls around and start sleeping with every guy they see at a bar. you always know which girls they are. they walk into the bar wearing their wedding rings, sit down on a bar stool, slip their wedding rings into their pockets, and go to town.
You know which girls they are because they’re shallow, who married their men for shallow reasons.
Being married to Matt is wonderful, and I’m so proud to be a Marine Corps wife. But it’s hard. It’s not this romantic, glamorous life that Yahoo paints it out to be. It’s totally worthwhile, of course, but only if you get into it for the right reasons. Finding some random dude and dating him just because he’s in the military and has a sexy uniform is not one of them.
Military life is not all love letters and clean houses « Hard Corps Wife
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